Diary - November 27, 2023

A Letter To My Past Self

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Dear Ornella,

It’s me, your 28-year old future self. More specifically, it was exactly a decade ago that I graduated from high school, settled in a whole new city and started college. It's as if the past ten years went by in the blink of an eye, and yet I feel like we have experienced more than enough to evaluate how we did.

According to what I heard, writing a letter to your past self is even a common form of therapy. It makes space for self-reflection, acceptance, and healing with wisdom that can only come from hindsight. Remember this letter is by far meant to lecture you. On the contrary, just keep going like you do, because you will be just fine.

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When I think about you as an 18-year old, I have the image in mind of a bouncy, infinite positivist who loves to live and could be called an atmosphere architect. Cheerful is your middle name, and it's almost as if you don't know how to be in a bad mood. You have many friends and love to gather as much people around you as possible. And although you're not exactly where you want to end up in life from the start, eventually you'll be studying medicine: something you'll have to fight for with all that you have.

You have very ambitious dreams, such as working and studying abroad, expanding your fashion and lifestyle blog, and on top of that becoming a dermatologist too! You strongly believe you are unique, and you act like it. In short, life is beautiful and it definitely could be much worse. Every day is another party, in every sense imaginable.

Still, you struggle with insecurities and you care a lot about what would later be labeled trivial. While in retrospect, you have everything in you to get you anywhere.

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You are right in the middle of what's going to be the best time of your life. You're busy doing only that what makes you happy, except for the two months a year confinement for studying. You are learning and growing into the you that is now me. Needless to say you'll forever stay the wild child you are.

You are loyal to your friends and family, and have love in surplus to hand out. And so you are when it comes to romance. Despite good intentions from both sides, your current relationship starts to sow turmoil in your mind. Your spontaneity is your greatest gift, but the amount of people able to handle it is scarce. You will have to deal with jealousy and broken friendships. More than once it might feel like you have to 'dim your light' to make those around you feel comfortable. You'll face professional challenges too, which will make you fall deep initially, only to rise back up stronger.

If I'm allowed to give you one piece of advice, it's to stop taking things so personally. It will take you some time to realize other people's behavior is only a reflection of their internal struggles and insecurities. Keep believing in yourself, your capabilities, the fact that crazy always outplays boring, and continue to always look on the bright side of life. Surround yourself with those who uplift and support you, cultivating relationships that inspire growth and foster positivity. Choose wisely and cherish those who genuinely believe in you. And never apologize for burning too brightly again.

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You deserve so much more credit than you give yourself. Stop downplaying your skills and start welcoming challenges as opportunities for personal development. You are capable of achieving greatness beyond your imagination. Your journey might not always be easy, but your resilience and determination will carry you through the toughest of times.

Embrace your passion and let it guide you fearlessly, but rest when you need to. Trust in your journey, and never forget that the best is yet to come. The world needs your unique voice and vision. I’m so proud of you.

With unwavering belief in your potential,

Your Future Self

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Pictures by Annelies Schrevens

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